i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize