Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
