Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
