SEEEEXXX PLEASE
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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