im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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