the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
there is puke in my bra ... again
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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