Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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