I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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