i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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