We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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