so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
