the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
