Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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