Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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