i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
They have beer where we have blood.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
