So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize