You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
