just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
