I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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