I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
