As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize