she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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