Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
