Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
