I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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