is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
