Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
