ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
