so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
