What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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