i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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