he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
