There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
