Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
