just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize