I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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