how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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