whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
