on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
