how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
