Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
