Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
