too bad you live with your parents still
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
