smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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