It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
