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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
