After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
