A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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