david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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