you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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