walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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