Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize