i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
