All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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