I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
