didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize