i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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