He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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