No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
please don't ironically join a cult
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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