im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
