You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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