Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
