Dual....:-)
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
