It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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