She's the barista slut.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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