Don't you send me to vm
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
