why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize