I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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