This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
